It's a good time to be a woman: we have the vote and the Pill, and we haven't been burnt as witches since 1727. However, a few nagging questions do remain... Why are we supposed to get Brazilians? Should we use Botox? Do men secretly hate us? And why does everyone ask when you're going to have a baby? This title provides answers to such questions.
Covering subjects from God to dogs, this collection is a gathering of British wit, featuring: Jane Austen, Pam Ayres, Alan Bennett, Jeffrey Bernard, John Betjeman, Jo Brand, Craig Brown, Winston Churchill, Alan Clark, Jeremy Clarkson, Billy Connolly, Peter Cook, Tommy Cooper, Noel Coward, Quentin Crisp, Les Dawson, Stephen Fry, and others.
In this book is a world. A world created by two awkward guys who share their lives on the internet!
We are Dan and Phil and we invite you on a journey inside our minds! From the stories of our actual births, to exploring Phil's teenage diary and all the reasons why Dan's a fail. Learn how to draw the perfect cat whiskers, get advice on how to make YouTube videos and discover which of our dining chairs represents you emotionally. With everything from what we text each other, to the time we met One Direction and what really happened in Vegas...
This is The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire!
Including cultural, social and political issues which are usually left to hot-shot wonks and not a woman who sometimes keeps a falafel in her handbag, this title also deals with subjects such as Caffeine; Ghostbusters; Being Poor; Twitter; Caravans; Obama; Wales; Paul McCartney; The Welfare State; Sherlock; and more.
Whether for the loo or bedside entertainment or as a work of reference or self-improvement The Funniest Thing You Never Said is the best humorous quote book there is - a one-stop shop.
A book about dreams, ambition and the responsibility that comes with power, 'Join Me' is the true story of a man who created a cult by accident, and is proof that, whilst some men were born to lead, others really haven't got a clue.
'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd
Everyone knows 'tis the season to be jolly; when you can roast chestnuts on an open fire, treetops glisten and sleigh bells ring alongside the sound of small children's laughter. However, if you don't think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year then reach for Keep Calm at Christmas and let its soothing advice reassure you that Christmas comes but once a year.
Keep Calm at Christmas follows Keep Calm for Ladies and Keep Calm for Chaps and offers many merry pearls of wisdom to help you get through the festive season; on everything from relatives to office parties, and gluttony to new year resolutions. An insighftul pocket gift for Christmas.
'What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day' Phyllis Diller 'About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas, for it seems like it always leaves most of us in the red' Anon 'Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice' Anon 'Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit' Kin Hubbard 'New Year's Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual' Mark Twain
Mr Darcy *heart eyes emoji* Lizzie Bennet. But will she swipe right? Delight in Austen's intelligent wit and piercing social commentary, distillled and translated into the beautiful, modern language of emoji. Because there is no enjoyment like reading. Except maybe texting.
I have the best ghosts, everyone says so' President Ebenezer Trump is a rich old fool, whose heart is as small as his hands and whose words are as false as his hair. On Christmas Eve, he is visited by three spirits, all intent on changing his evil ways: Bill Clinton, the jovial Ghost of Christmas Past; Barack Obama, the big-eared Ghost of Christmas Present; and the terrifying Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, who shows him how abolishing Obamacare will finish off Tiny Tim...
'This Scrooge is gonna be yooooge...